My Wedding Disaster (involves dog poop)

Written by Grace Keeley

Wedding Disaster involving dog poop

I’m sure every bride has their own wedding disaster story. Here’s mine.

Our engagement was 16 weeks long, and the wedding planning was really quite smooth, barring a couple of arguments about honeymoon destination. (We also found somewhere to live in this time – that wasn’t so smooth… but we did find a place, just in time!)

Five days before our wedding the first crack showed up via an email. ‘Urgent,’ said our beautiful, well-researched acoustic band, ‘We can’t come we’ve got hand, foot & mouth disease.’ I mean it’s not ideal, but it wasn’t really their fault.

My Maids of Honour were ON IT. While I was out and about busy moving house, and popping to Aldi (I remember because every. single. person. I know was in there!) they sent out about 20 availability requests on lastminutemusician.com.

To my amazement multiple bands replied. And thankfully it was Brad’s day off, so he could listen to their demos. We found a new band, booked them, sorted it (and they were incredible: Soul to Soul Acoustic – we highly recommend them, Chloe’s voice is insane!)

So in my mind I checked it off: wedding disaster – done!

Then Friday came. Just two more days to go. I went to my nail appointment, picked up my dress, (I’d stored it at my Gran’s) and was really getting excited!

I hung my dress up in my bedroom, spreading out the train and the veil too, so as to avoid creasing of course.

Then the door went: someone had stopped by, while walking their dog near our house, to drop a wedding present round!

I went downstairs and spent time chatting with them. The house was already busy with people preparing for the wedding, so there was a few of us and we were excitably chatting all things wedding – as you do, when there’s two sleeps to go!

Anyway chatting done, I went back upstairs to grab something from my room. I didn’t have my glasses on so glancing over at my dress I thought oh what’s that brown thing on my dress.

I moved closer.

“Oh, it’s a leaf” I thought, “it must have blown in through the window.” I thought.

I moved closer.

I leaned over to take a closer look.

It was not a leaf.

Nope, it was NOT!

It was a dog poop!!

Seriously.

The dog had clearly felt a real need to poop. And where better than on my veil?!

On my (way too expensive*) veil!!

Choking back tears I phoned a friend. She picked me up (and the veil – she’s braver than me!) and took us to a dry cleaners. I walked in feeling sick to my stomach, pleading with the man behind the counter with just the look in my eyes.

He told us they couldn’t do anything as they were fully booked.

I was yelling in my head! Come on my wedding is in two days! Give it 48 hours I’d be married!

I was trying to rationalise with myself that it was just a veil, it was going to be okay. It could be sorted. But in the moment rational thoughts are not the ones we focus on are they!

Onto the next dry cleaners.

I was beginning to get really desperate. My sister text offering to buy me another one (isn’t she the kindest?!)

We walked in to the dry cleaners.

But they said not to panic! Just pop it in the washing machine. (If you do this check with a dry cleaners first – they told us to wrap the grip in tin foil so that it didn’t damage the material while in the washing machine.)

I did not believe them. I was trying to work out how I could buy a new veil the next day in my head. Losing hope for this one.

We put it in the washing machine. And then began a long, looonnngggg wait.

Let’s pause here to comment on my now-husband’s reaction. He was working, so I text him “Hunny, a dog pooped on my veil” (I may have used alternate words to this). He replied “What!? How!?” all credit to him that he refrained from mentioning that him and his best mate were doubled over, crying with laughter. That wouldn’t have gone down well.

The washing machine beeped, and we pulled it out.

It was fine. Smelt nicer than when I’d bought it. A couple of the beads did come loose but I stitched them back on.

So there you have it, my wedding disaster! I am beyond thankful that the poop was on my veil and not my dress. I was truly mortified, I swore the few people I’d told to absolute secrecy. I did not want anyone picturing that as I walked down the aisle!

All this to say: it’s not all going to go perfectly. Don’t panic, know who you can call when it does go wrong, and go with the flow. You’ll enjoy the whole experience a lot more!

I’m very thankful for friends that will come at the drop of a hat. And washing machines.

What’s your wedding disaster? Or what wedding disaster do you imagine in your nightmares?

*Since getting married I’ve found out you can buy veils from eBay and Amazon that are absolutely perfect! No idea why I didn’t think of this at the time (probably because 16 weeks doesn’t leave a lot of room for thinking). But if I were you I’d start there!

Photo by www.hannahmia.com