If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’ve either volunteered to do a speech (brave), or you’ve been lovingly “nominated” (even braver). And if you’re already feeling that slight dread… you’re not alone.
I’ve listened to and dissected my fair share of wedding speeches, many hundreds at this point. From professional speech writers, to people who are clearly wishing they’d got “lost” on the way to the reception. Incredible speeches that have made me cry and laugh, to speeches that everyone sighed with relief when they were done.
So at this point, I have a few bits of advice I can help you with.
The good news is you don’t need to be naturally funny or confident on a microphone. The speeches people remember most aren’t the ones with the biggest laughs. They’re the ones with a few genuinely thoughtful lines that make everyone feel something.
And from our point of view as wedding filmmakers, speeches are also one of the most valuable parts of the day to capture. They’re where we get real voices, real words, real emotion… the stuff that gives a film depth.
So here’s our best speech-writing advice…
1) Don’t leave it to the night before, start writing notes now
The number one reason speeches feel stressful is because people sit down to “write a speech” in one go, usually at 10pm the night before, with a mild panic and a glass of something. If we’re being honest Brad & I wrote our speeches in the car between the church and the reception – trust us, don’t do that!
Instead, make it easy on yourself: start a notes page on your phone now, and add to it little by little. The best lines always pop up at random times anyway.
Sentence starters for your notes page:
- “One thing I’ve always loved about you is…”
- “The moment I realised… was when…”
- “You’re the kind of person who… (specific example)”
- “If I had to describe you in three words…”
- “I’m grateful to you because…”
You’re not writing the speech yet. You’re just collecting thoughts and ideas.
2) Use the easiest structure that works every time: past, present, future
If you’re not sure what to say, this is the structure that could really help you. It keeps your speech clear, it keeps people with you, and it stops you rambling (we say that with love).
Past: No one wants a full history lesson, but a short memory or anecdote that shows who they are is perfect
- “I met [name] when…”
- “Back then, the thing you noticed about them straight away was…”
- “My favourite early memory with them is…”
- “They’ve always been the person who…”
Present: why you love them, and what you admire about them
- “I honestly think their best quality is…”
- “The thing people might not see is…”
- “If you’ve ever been looked after by [name], you’ll know…”
- “They make people feel… by…”
- “You bring out ___ in each other.”
Future: what you hope for them as a couple, then toast
- “What I love about you together is…”
- “My hope for your marriage is…”
- “Promise me you’ll always keep…”
- “May you always…”
You can craft a complete speech with just one sweet story and a handful of heartfelt lines. That’s it.
3) Say specific things, not general things
This is the difference between “nice” and “memorable”.
General: “You’re amazing and kind and we all love you.”
Specific: “You’re the person who notices when someone’s left out, and you’ll quietly fix it without making a fuss.” Being specific is also what makes speeches feel emotional without trying too hard.
- “One thing you always do is…”
- “You’re the person everyone calls when…”
- “You make people feel… because…”
If you get stuck, think: “What would I say about them if it was just the two of us, having a proper chat?”
4) Humour is great, but don’t make “funny” the whole goal
A couple of laughs are lovely. But it’s hard to make jokes land the whole time, especially in front of a room full of such a variety of people.
If you’re not naturally funny, don’t force it. Warm beats witty every single time.
A couple of safer “smile and laugh” angles:
- A gentle observation about their personality (affectionate, not roasting)
- A tiny, kind self-deprecating line (you, not the couple)
Sentence starters:
- “Anyone who knows [name] will know they’re…”
- “If you’ve ever tried to make plans with [name], you’ll know…”
- “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, so…”
Keep it light, keep it kind, then bring it back to something real.
5) A few things to avoid (so it lands well in the room and ages well)
This is the part where you’ll thank yourself later.
Try to avoid:
- In-jokes that need loads of context
- Anything that would embarrass them in front of family
- Exes, anything too “stag/hen”, or stories that make the room tense
- A list of achievements that sounds like a LinkedIn bio
A really helpful test is: would you want this played back to you in 10 years?
6) Make it easy to deliver: short, clear, spoken
A speech can be beautiful on paper and still fall flat if it’s hard to say out loud.
A few simple tips:
- Keep it 3 to 6 minutes
- Short sentences are your friend
- Print it big and on neat paper (not too big, you don’t want to be hiding behind paper)
- Pause after the important lines, let the room react
- Speak slower than you think you need to
Sentence starters that help with pacing:
- “And the thing is…”
- “Honestly…”
- “The truth is…”
- “So today, I just want to say…”
If you get emotional, let it be part of your speech. Take a breath and carry on.
A final note on writing a speech for a wedding
If you’re writing a speech, you’re doing something really meaningful. You’re giving the couple words they’ll keep forever, and you’re giving them voices they’ll get to hear again one day, exactly as they sounded on their wedding.
So don’t aim for perfect. Aim for true. Kind, thoughtful words will always have the best impact. Start your notes today, pick your best bits, and say the things you’d want them to remember.
